My sarcasm gets me in trouble… often. While for me sarcasm and facetiousness is a sign of friendship and affection, I have come to realize (the hard way) that for others it can be quite hurtful. Cutting even. I usually don’t know, recognize, or realize this until it is too late. Here I am, trying to be friendly and they think I am passive aggressively attacking all of their life’s choices. It sucks.
True story: I got suspended from my college rowing team for a period of time because my coach (whose sense of humor obviously did not align with my own) thought I was belittling my teammates. I have had to watch a lot of really good people in my life become distant because I didn’t know how what I said affected them until it was too late. While witty banter is truly one of my life’s greatest joys, I have been trying to remember that I am also partially responsible for how that is interpreted.
Today I sent a friend a message that I thought was harmless, but on a second read realized that it may have been perceived very badly. I didn’t feel any need to apologize for what I said, (I, thankfully, was not trying to negotiate my way back into my college scholarship) but did care that my real message got across. I’m not sure writing back was the right thing to do, it was definitely a buzz-kill, but for me, it was courageous to let someone know that my intentions were well-meaning. I had never done that before.